I have cycled through many hair "styles" - if you can really say that - from my teen years until now. New colors. New lengths. Goatees. Full beards. Lambchop sideburns. Blonde hair. Red hair. No hair. You name it.
Once-upon-a-time in Emily's above-Jimmy-John's-apartment, our friend Francesca asked Emily - repeatedly, when browsing framed pictures - and who is this? That's Collin. What about this guy? That's Collin. And this dude? Yeah, that's Collin. The questions and answers flew back and forth SO FAST YOU'LL FREAK.
So yes, I have, in a way, drifted through life without a "look" as it were. The most consistent "look" - and I might add the easiest and the one I most identify with - is the bald head (facial hair optional). Today it feels like "me".
This look started in 1995 or 1996, I can't remember. At this point I rocked a horrible horrible bowl haircut. Soon we wouldn't even need the bowl! (SPOILER ALERT, COLLIN SHAVES HIS HEAD)
There was an incident.
An embarrassing incident.
In my infinite wisdom, to deflect said embarrassment I had my friend Ken Sabino shave my head. It didn't necessarily deflect all embarrassment, but I was in a very high-school-way, new. Newly defined.
No longer was I the-guy-that-ripped-a-ridiculously-massive-fart-during-a-Spanish-club-meeting. Now I was also bald. Juan Carlos may have cut the queso, but now he had a new affectation, or lack there of. I dug it, not everyone did, but I was - and still am - a fan.
Anyway, fast-forward past more terrible hairstyles / colors to 1998. I had a live-in barber!
James. Custodio. Jay faded-me-up for the better part of two years. I've never looked better. Sadly, college ends and I lost my barber and had to cut my own hair or pay others to do so.
The paying others to do so bit...I am cheap. My paying others to do so resulted in trips to Hair Cuttery / Cost Cutters / others. Others did not include Fantastic Sam's and / or BoRics. It resulted badly. So I bought some clippers.
My clipper cuts were always one length. Always no-guard. Always bald. Easy. Cheap. Effective. Ridiculously-good-looking.
Occasionally, my hair has grown to very very very long lengths and I've thought, what can I do with this hair? Can I cut it myself? With clippers? I chose not to.
Fast-forward to today to 2013-2014 in a new country with new European-voltage Wahl clippers. I gave it a go. And guess what? The first time looked great! So many compliments, so many amazed that I "did it myself". With confidence growing, I tried again...not as good. Passable, but not as good.
Today, I tried for a third time. Results? Predictably amazing and terrible. I feel like this haircut is like some sort of terrible brownhaired-somewhatcurly-longer-poorlycut Macklemore facsimile. Dear Macklemore, I'm sorry. Imagine Ivan Drago, but with a pompadour that just won't stay up.
There's another 80's reference that I can't quite place. It's not Flock of Seagulls. But it could be. It's bad.
At any rate, I'll be suffering with this haircut. I thought about shaving it again, but I have put too much effort into growing this hair. This glorious terrible hair.
I feel the need to comment.
ReplyDelete1) when Collin shaved his head in high school was actually the first time I "noticed" him.
2) although Francesca was in my apartment that fateful day of the many-pictures-of-Collin, it was actually Christoph who kept asking if each one was my brother, until I finally had to say "No, they are all Collin" -- note: I now have pictures of my brother in my apartment as well ;)
3) Collin's current hair cut is not nearly as bad as he makes it out to be...he is his toughest critic. It is definitely NOT flock of seagulls or Drago.