Birthday wishes from the folks at OfficeMax

I'm not sure what sort of person celebrates his / her birthday with a coupon from OfficeMax.

Wooooo! Watch me save 20% on this document shredder!

"Just For You" was a nice personal touch. It makes me feel far superior to the poor saps that got generic non-birthday related OfficeMax spam. 

Just for me you say? $10 off on a purchase of $50 or more? Things are coming up Collin.

I truly don't understand how this kind of language / offer appeals to anyone. I mean, I have ideas, but where have those ever gotten me?