Americans watching Americans

Sometimes the universe sends strange yet apt messages. There's coincidence, and there's strange coincidence, and then there's that sort of coincidence that makes me understand that yes, I am in The Matrix. Let's begin!

Monday night I watched "Weird Al" tear down STOR VEGA and tonight I return to the same venue to check out Queens-ian / Albanian / EpicBeard-ian / HipHop-sensatian Action Bronson. In Copenhagen. Yes boys and girls, dreams really do come true.

I'll start this with a little history about me and Weird Al Yankovic and music in general. This will be shocking to many readers, but I wasn't very cool as a kid! In around '85, I knew next to nothing about current "popular" music. I did know a lot about The Beatles and Elvis and...wait for it...Weird Al! I don't know who introduced me to him, but it stuck to me. Hard. Much as George Michael Bluth attempted to prank-call like the Jerky Boys...

...young Collin attempted - badly - to write parody songs! They were terrible. But I loved Weird Al. So much. 

Shortly after Even Worse - my favorite song is You Make Me! - came out, my "friends" not so nicely informed me that this was neither cool music nor music at all. Real music was cool! Real music was - at this time - hair bands. Music was freaking Def Leppard Hysteria! Comedy was not music nor cool and Weird Al was definitely not cool. This is what it sounds like when Collin - both child and adult - cries. Collin was a nerd and failed the nerd test when he said - *gasp* - I don't like Weird Al anymore! Nooooooo! 

In a very short span I lost both Weird Al and my friends. I chose poorly. So poorly.

So, fast-forward / rewind to Monday! Copenhagen is a fairly homogeneous city, but guess what? There are pockets of weirdness! There are nerds in Copenhagen! Lots of them! They were all at the Weird Al show!

It was a fun show. Costume changes! Video montages! Polka! Star Wars costumes! Weird three man mouth music stuff! I was young again and it was great. Thank you Weird Al. You're the best. 

--

So then, with the Bronsoliño - with his hair slicked back he looks like Rick Pitino! - I'm way late to the party with Action Bronson, but I am a fan. He is currently at the tail end of a world tour. We're excited to find out what sorts of stuff he throws into the crowd! It's just like Oprah! Will Body be there to do Body things?! Will the show start on time!?!?! Who knows!?!! (Note, I know, with certainty, that the show will not start on time. Weird Al started 30 minutes late and Al's a teetotaler! Bronson is, well, not-so-much.) 

Second note, here he is yesterday at WarPigs yesterday...I picked the wrong day not to go to WarPigs.

Fast-forward to the Matrix...today I, looking for reviews of this tour, hit this article from The Guardian. IN THE PICTURE CAPTION IT SAYS THIS!

The missing link between the Wu-Tang Clan and Weird Al Yankovic … Action Bronson.

MIND = BLOWN. Thank you Weird Al. Thank you Action Bronson. Thank you VEGA.

Birthday wishes from the folks at OfficeMax

I'm not sure what sort of person celebrates his / her birthday with a coupon from OfficeMax.

Wooooo! Watch me save 20% on this document shredder!

"Just For You" was a nice personal touch. It makes me feel far superior to the poor saps that got generic non-birthday related OfficeMax spam. 

Just for me you say? $10 off on a purchase of $50 or more? Things are coming up Collin.

I truly don't understand how this kind of language / offer appeals to anyone. I mean, I have ideas, but where have those ever gotten me?

Day 33 - Who will win?

My money is on Oprah.

Day 19 - Yes, I love technology

but not as much as the Illini, you see

but still, I love technology

always and forever

always and forever

Go Illini!

Edit : Three teams have beaten tOSU this year. Kansas. Duke. Illinois.

Day 12 - Exit Strategy

After a nice dinner with family, it was off to O'Hare for a 10PM flight. Eight hours later, we would be in Denmark.

I should have never flown First Class to Hawaii. Coach sucks once you understand truly how much you are missing. :(

Our heaviest bag topped out at 46 pounds. We win.

Above is the entrance to security at the international terminal. 

I did like seeing all of the Cubs gear front and center with a tiny shelf of Sox mugs below them. Sounds about right.

Day 7-8, 11 - More from Naperville

It was a nice Christmas. Charlie is sometimes especially not photogenic. Poor scary eyed Charlie.

It was great seeing my Grandpa - he's doing really well. We took him to Portillo's. Italian Beef? Check.

C-U Revisited - now blogging from Copenhagen.

When you're still on American time and you can't sleep past 3AM, it's time to waste time on the computer.

First, on our trip to C-U, I was further blown away by the number of windmills. Oh my.

Also on the drive back I was reminded of the time that I drove Zeshan home. He thought the following - around Kankakee, IIRC - was the Chicago skyline.

Lastly, here's me on the quad. This is what happens when Emily and I both take pictures and I am too lazy to grab them off of her phone.

Day 7 - Christmas Eve

In Denmark Christmas Eve is the more formal, bigger deal than Christmas day. They even have little Christmas Eve - aka Lillejuleaften aka Christmas Eve Eve aka December 23.

Emily, Charlie, and I will be celebrating our Juleaften with my family in Naperville. Sadly there will be no Gløgg. Perhaps next year in Copenhagen.

Day 4 - Back to C-U

The Union from Follinger

Emily hadn't been to Champaign-Urbana (or Urbana-Champaign if you're like *that*) in a while and I'm always up for a trip so we made the way down I-57 to say hello to our former - my favorite - home.

Made a stop in Park Forest to visit Emily's grandma. Good times.

Lunch at - obviously - Dos Reales with Emily's uncle Tim. My favorite host still works there! He moved far too quickly to snap a picture. Dos Reales? Check. Fajita Quesadilla? Check.

I have something like five people that I can talk Illini sports with and Tim is one of them. Good times.

Lincoln Hall

Next a trip to the quad. I hadn't seen Lincoln Hall since the renovations. So shiny and clean! I almost miss the decrepit-ness. Abe's nose seems far less shiny. Perhaps Tim Beckman forgot to rub it this year. *sad trombone*

The Union computer lab looks more like an Apple store now - it's crazy. That computer lab was always pretty pathetic. Not as bad as the one in the ME building, ack, I wish I could remember the name. Worst computer lab ever.

We met up with our old boss Jim Morrissey. He's over in RAL now, awesome space. I was happy to see that some of my "helpful suggestion" signs still exist! In my own handwriting! I'm some sort of long distance lab nazi. As as an aside, I was trying to decide whether or not "nazi" should be capitalized. I think I made the right choice.

Follinger from the Union

It was great seeing Jim, Genie, and Stephanie - I miss the lab. It was a great place to work.

The visit was done. It was fun taking I-47 home - I love all of the small towns. Strawn. Sibley. I always wonder about life in a town of one hundred.

Fun trip. I miss C-U. Most people think I'm crazy, but I could definitely live there indefinitely. At any rate, onward and, well, eastward?

Days 1-3 : The pains of blogging in retrospect

Day 1!
So here we go. This journey started a long time ago, but I'm going to start things on Tuesday the 18th of December - when you're transitioning to international dates, every little reinforcement helps.

Tuesday was moving day. Thanks Novo! I do not want to move my own stuff. Ever. Again. The movers showed up, wrapped everything in paper, and eventually packed those perfectly wrapped things in our very own shipping container! Fun times.

To file under "not fun times" once the movers left it was now up to Emily and Collin to sort out the rest of everything else. Pack everything up that needs to go to Chicago and / or Copenhagen. Ready the house for the de-leading folks. Ready the house for the new tenants. Sleep on an air mattress in an echo-y, cold, empty room.

Day 2!
I apologize in advance for this terrible - well, likely terrible - formatting. Either blogger is horrible or I am horrible at using blogger. This is what I get for not knowing how to do anything by hand anymore.

At any rate, not that you can see it from this horrible picture, but that's 4:06 on the clock. We missed our target time by 6 minutes! The car was fully loaded. Charlie was - for the first time EVER - in his crate with the door closed. We were off.

Somewhere around 1000 miles and 15 and a half hours later we landed in Naperville. Then sleep, precious sleep.

Day 3!
If the average Car Talk caller represents the average American car owner, it appears that a decent percentage of people name their cars. Sadly, we never named our Vue. All the better as it is now part of some sort of CarMax auction. Good luck dealers!

Moving a car to Denmark would be crazy. Buying a car in Denmark might be crazier. Emily and I will now learn to love riding bikes. Excuse me while I punch myself in the face. Such is life and such is the grand experiment that is this move. Collin will grow to love bike riders cyclists and may even begrudgingly become one himself! Oh the shame!

And Charlie, oh Charlie. As most of you know, Charlie is a very weird dog. I love him. Emily loves him. He is still weird. Eccentric, perhaps. Tonight was the first time he has done this since we have arrived. I am a happy man.