Americans watching Americans

Sometimes the universe sends strange yet apt messages. There's coincidence, and there's strange coincidence, and then there's that sort of coincidence that makes me understand that yes, I am in The Matrix. Let's begin!

Monday night I watched "Weird Al" tear down STOR VEGA and tonight I return to the same venue to check out Queens-ian / Albanian / EpicBeard-ian / HipHop-sensatian Action Bronson. In Copenhagen. Yes boys and girls, dreams really do come true.

I'll start this with a little history about me and Weird Al Yankovic and music in general. This will be shocking to many readers, but I wasn't very cool as a kid! In around '85, I knew next to nothing about current "popular" music. I did know a lot about The Beatles and Elvis and...wait for it...Weird Al! I don't know who introduced me to him, but it stuck to me. Hard. Much as George Michael Bluth attempted to prank-call like the Jerky Boys...

...young Collin attempted - badly - to write parody songs! They were terrible. But I loved Weird Al. So much. 

Shortly after Even Worse - my favorite song is You Make Me! - came out, my "friends" not so nicely informed me that this was neither cool music nor music at all. Real music was cool! Real music was - at this time - hair bands. Music was freaking Def Leppard Hysteria! Comedy was not music nor cool and Weird Al was definitely not cool. This is what it sounds like when Collin - both child and adult - cries. Collin was a nerd and failed the nerd test when he said - *gasp* - I don't like Weird Al anymore! Nooooooo! 

In a very short span I lost both Weird Al and my friends. I chose poorly. So poorly.

So, fast-forward / rewind to Monday! Copenhagen is a fairly homogeneous city, but guess what? There are pockets of weirdness! There are nerds in Copenhagen! Lots of them! They were all at the Weird Al show!

It was a fun show. Costume changes! Video montages! Polka! Star Wars costumes! Weird three man mouth music stuff! I was young again and it was great. Thank you Weird Al. You're the best. 

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So then, with the Bronsoliño - with his hair slicked back he looks like Rick Pitino! - I'm way late to the party with Action Bronson, but I am a fan. He is currently at the tail end of a world tour. We're excited to find out what sorts of stuff he throws into the crowd! It's just like Oprah! Will Body be there to do Body things?! Will the show start on time!?!?! Who knows!?!! (Note, I know, with certainty, that the show will not start on time. Weird Al started 30 minutes late and Al's a teetotaler! Bronson is, well, not-so-much.) 

Second note, here he is yesterday at WarPigs yesterday...I picked the wrong day not to go to WarPigs.

Fast-forward to the Matrix...today I, looking for reviews of this tour, hit this article from The Guardian. IN THE PICTURE CAPTION IT SAYS THIS!

The missing link between the Wu-Tang Clan and Weird Al Yankovic … Action Bronson.

MIND = BLOWN. Thank you Weird Al. Thank you Action Bronson. Thank you VEGA.

Day somethingsomething

Howdy friends and other characters, it has been a terribly long while.

Today I sit alone in rainy-Copenhagen, still suffering from the cold that SHALL NOT PASS. Emily is off to Toronto and I, for better or worse, am left here alone with my thoughts.

Where to start! I'll start with yesterday's Danish election.

For me - and perhaps many of you USAmericans - foreign elections present a somewhat strange concept of how elections work, how citizens vote, and how folks are elected.

This is my simple - and probably flawed (likely flat-out wrong) - explanation of how the Danish system works. I'll try to simplify this by starting at the a-prime-minister-is-elected point.

Once appointed / elected, a PM has the position for a maximum of four years. At any point prior, the PM can call for a general election. There are many many many many many many many *somewhat* major parties here. They range all over the place, but generally speaking they split up into two distinct blocs or coalitions. Right. Left.

Voters can vote for party or individual. Final party percentages determine the number of votes for PM, and thus the need for a coalition / bloc to elect the PM that those *winners* prefer.

Our current PM Helle Thorning-Schmidt's party actually scored the most votes in yesterday's general election. The Danskfolkeparti finished second. They are sadly part of the bloc / coalition that will elect the next PM.

To familiarize you with the Danskfolkeparti, I'll give you this from their wiki

The party holds that Denmark is not naturally a country of immigration. The party also does not accept a multi-ethnic transformation of Denmark,[43] and rejects multiculturalism.[23] Former party leader Pia Kjærsgaard stated she did "not want Denmark as a multiethnic, multicultural society",[44] and that a multiethnic Denmark would be a "national disaster".[45] The party seek to drastically reduce non-Western immigration, oppose islamisation, and favour cultural assimilation of immigrants. In 2010, the party proposed to put a complete stop to all immigration from non-Western countries, a continuation of a proposal the month before to toughen the 24-year rule.[46] They do, however, make the distinction between immigrants, those who intend to stay in Denmark permanently, and refugees, those that will only be in Denmark for the duration of the conflict, but ultimately intend to return home. The party has stated that it is more than happy to help those in need, but have a moral responsibility to the people of Denmark to keep Denmark Danish.[47]

So yes, a horribly racist, frighteningly nationalist organization grabbed 21.1% of the vote. You might say, what was voter turnout? Maybe this was based on some sort of get-out-the-vote activity? I mean for us lazy USAmericans, in 2012, only 55% of voters came out to vote. Here, in Denmark, we generally approach the 90%.

I get that it's easy to grab Danes on the idea of Danish-nationalism. Immigration is an issue. It's also easy to grab old people on this sort of nonsense - in 2014 approximately 18% of the population was over 65.

Here's the thing that I don't get. Most of the *right* aspects of Danish politics - reduced taxes, less social programs, more room for corporations, more flexibility, more money - they don't apply to the f$%^parti.

This is a party that has sold voters on tons of social stuff, as long as that social stuff doesn't apply to africans and easternblockers and asians and anyone else neither *Danish* nor *Western*.

I've been here for 2 and a half years and this concept of Danish-ness is still ridiculous. I don't know what makes a *Dane*. I don't know what makes a *Westerner*. I'm stupid. I'm an American. I don't even know what makes an *American*. Such is my stupidity.

But, for the Danish *right* to pull this sort of eff-all-nonsense into their voting bloc just to pad their stats for the sake of electing a PM!? Bah. It's garbage. Total garbage.

Happy Birthday

Today, George Kontos would have been 95 years old.

He was a kind, thoughtful, patient, generous man. I miss talking to him on the phone. Talking about what's up. Talking about the Bears. Talking about anything. Talking.

I spent a ton of time at my Grandparent's house as a kid. My Grandparents always took the time with us. Books. Games. Museums. Activities. They did it, despite predicted boredom / aggravation. They did it for us and we're better for it.

One of the books that I always remember from that time was "The Man who Didn't Wash His Dishes".

I just loved the illustrations. Loved them.

Happy birthday my friend. You are missed.

Halloween / Check us out on Instagram / Etc

Howdy folks, it has been a while. Guess what, we had a Halloween party!? Much fun was had.

Emily baked cool stuff.

The bathroom had a certain "shine" to it.

The table was set.

Scary sangria was prepared.

Pumpkins galore.

All we needed was Velma, Scooby, and - lest we forget - Shaggy. Thankfully they were all there!

Sarah - on the right here - was the costume contest winner.

Jesper - holy something I am terribly scared of clowns - came in second.

Maimed-fisher-woman Helle came in third. Props to Berit for the outstanding makeup.

It was an awesome night. I was happy to spend it with my friends.

Additionally, despite my disdain for social media, I am now on Instagram! You can follow our exploits photographically there.

That sounds delicious!

Oh wait, it totally doesn't!

Update to Arles Update, Largely Involving Bobby Hill

I was slightly let down by my last post. Hopefully this redeems me.

In addition to eating and reminiscing about the genius that is Bobby Hill, we have actually done / seen stuff! What kind of stuff? How about the city of Gordes?!

How about the Abbaye Notre-Dame de Sénanque?!

Yes, if these pictures look old / weird it's because I'm messing around with the iPhone's fancy schmancy filter settings! I am very sorry to any actual photographers in the audience that actually know how to take real pictures sans Siri gimmicks.

Culinary Update from Arles

I have no idea what day it is blog-wise as I'm on holiday thoroughly enjoying bread, wine, and cheese. This is surely a valid excuse. Surely.

And the charcuterie. Oh the charcuterie. Specifically the saucisson pictured at the top right of this plate of delicious meat products.

Again, this blogger app is terrible so you probably can't see it in all of its cheesy meaty glory. Yes, cured meat fans, this combines delicious cured meat with Roquefort cheese. France is awesome. If I stay here much longer, gout will surely set in. Cue Bobby Hill in a Rascal.

Au revoir!